Once Upon A Time . . .

I woke up one day and found myself part of a story that had begun a long time ago. Then, like child´s play, I quickly began to learn the rules so I could play.

I basically had to learn everything and get up to date. I could not remember anything previous to the game which made me feel tiny, fragile and more than a little bit lost.

I was very interested in learning how to play the game as quickly as possible and made a tremendous effort to do so as best as I could. But this game baffled me and I was very frustrated. The rules did not apply correctly and the rewards were late in arriving. I believed it was a matter of size and that I would probably understand once I grew up.

Some people call this game life. For me it was just another game but I could not remember why it was that I had to play it neither could I give up nor did I know how to fold from it. I searched for its meaning without being able to find it.

So I adapted to it. I had a hunch that there were shortcuts to win the match and I knew that even if I did not give it my best effort, I would never lose but the game led me to a dead end.

I also knew that there was a fast lane, filled with prizes and that the time consumed n finding it was important. The road was full of hints but there were many traps that mislead me. If I focused on them, I could avoid getting confused. The secret was to listen to my inner voice but the obstacles almost always distracted me.

With time I learned that everything I saw, everything I Heard and everything I felt, spoke only of me, told me exactly what I believed and that being a mirror image, that was not the way to find the exit. If I looked for someone to give me a clue, I found only what I already knew. When I asked who the person was and why they played this game, all I found was the same ignorance everywhere. I then understood that the answers were not to be found outside because they were all the eco of my own voice.

I continued to obsess about why I played this game and how to beat it.

I began to search for the clues within myself. I found a dark place, filled with debris, lots of garbage: it was a labyrinth with no way out. To my surprise, I discovered that everything I believed in was a hindrance to me, everything I had learnt and everything I had thought had become a huge concrete wall that blocked my path. I tried to get information from there but soon realized that none of it helped. I was surrounded by tons of knowledge but no wisdom. I felt frustrated because I no longer knew where to go. I had tried everything without finding any answers and the more I insisted, the bigger the obstacles got.

In the end, I gave up. I told myself that I was perhaps searching in the wrong place or perhaps I had overlooked some important detail. I sat down on the sidewalk, with my legs crossed and decided to insist no more. I relaxed and tranquilly observed my toes when a voice whispered in my ear: “ONCE YOU LET GO, MIRACLES HAPPEN”.

Then everything was clear. I found that the answers to my questions were in a place where memories do not exist and that the game was of my creation, that the rules had been created by me and that my power was so great that I could change them as I pleased.

I love you

Jocelyne Ramniceanu

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